The Ballads Of Mister Rhodes

Have you ever found yourself trapped in a downcast loop because you made the mistake of asking yourself if everything is okay and you can’t find an answer? I am finding it increasingly difficult to see myself as a part of the world around me. Of course, it is possible to bend to its expectations, but there’s only so much contortionism I can do. It feels like my opinions on how we should live are growing further and further away from how people are living. What I consider indecent seems to be settling around the current norm. I cannot sleep. I’m not sure if I’ve done the right thing or taken yet another chunk out of myself. There has come a point in which I am thinking a lot about how much of me there is going to be left if I continue as I am. It would all be easier if a doctor just pulled me to the side and announced to me that I was mad. (Artwork by  Müge Olçum) I do not understand this place anymore. At first, you could talk about the way things could have been different and you...

A spiritualist, a dancer, and someone like me all walk into a bar. They take a seat. They indirectly exchange a few uneasy breaths whilst the alcohol and cigarette smoke loosen the cogs of conversation.  The dancer is the first to speak. The dancer has heard that someone like me doesn’t think anyone is special. This is what breaks the silence... We could quite literally be walking on to the fucking end of days. The human race under tension is a not-so-funny thing to watch or to be caught up in. I can feel the nicotine from my last cigarette stretching out over my shoulder blades whilst the fan behind me blows cool air on to the back of my ears creating the short-lived auditory hallucination of being at the top of a mountain gazing out over madness. I quite fancied myself a lie down with a podcast discussing the links between trauma and addiction, but it would appear there are more pressing matters to attend to. Did you know, every time I drive my motorbike around the ...